eljay_earthgirl: (Default)
[personal profile] eljay_earthgirl
Title: Voices of a Distant Star
Author: eriknannie4evr
Rating: PG
Words: 2633
Warnings: None
Summary: Another run-in with the Doctor has some unexpected results for all involved.
A/N: Glorious beta [livejournal.com profile] sykira  looked this over for me. Ganked the title from a band. Hey, it fit.

“I do not understand, Captain, why is he making this so difficult?”

The Captain snorted, “Because he’s the Doctor, that’s what he does.”

 “But I can help him,” I protested, “It is my duty to help him!”

The Captain placed a heavy hand on my shoulder, “Look, I know you want to help, but he’s not going to budge. Lord knows, I’d like for you to help him, but the man’s too stubborn for own good.”

He began to walk off, and I tried to keep up.

“You do not understand,” I cried, stumbling in my haste to catch up, “I do not have a choice! Either I help him, or my family faces dishonor and banishment!”

That caught his attention, for he stopped suddenly and turned to face me.

“You mean,” he started, eyeing me critically, “If he doesn’t let you do whatever it is that you want to do to help, you’ll bring shame to your family.”

I nodded, “That is what I have been trying to tell him the whole time. He saved me and my family and I must repay him by giving him what he needs the most.”

Jack smirked, “Which would be…?”

I sighed deeply, collecting my thoughts. This was the most difficult part to explain.

“Captain,” I spoke calmly, “My people are telepathic. Extremely so. We have no secrets, the idea of personal privacy is unknown in the way you think of it. From the moment he stepped out of his ship I have been able to read the Doctor’s thoughts. And in doing so, I unwittingly found the deepest desire he hides. That desire is the gift I must give to him.”

I watched as the Captain took in the information, going to sit on one of the couches. I knew the concept of connecting with someone without permission was an offense in his time and culture, but it was impossible for me to avoid it. My people were not made to hide our thoughts and feelings, but to share them and grow stronger because of it.

He looked up at me after a while, sighing, “Why is this such a big deal? Just give the Doctor what he wants, and we can go. You keep your family honor and the Doctor get what he wants.”

I moved to sit next to the Captain on the couch, folding my hands and studying the designs I had chosen to adorn them.

I spoke softly, hoping the Captain would take this information calmly, “Because price for what he desires amounts to my life.”

“WHAT?”

The Captain bounded from the couch, pacing, while I stared at my folded hands. Yes, this would cost me my life, but my life was already accounted for.

“Of all the… That doesn’t even make sense!”

I knew the Captain was angry, I had been distressed as well when I first realized what had to be done, but looking at this one incident in the grand scheme of the universe, I couldn’t find it to be angry or upset.

“Captain,” I started softly, not wanting to upset him any more, “It must be done. I will either lose my life honorably or with shame. I choose to die with honor.”

The Captain studied me for a long while, his face showing his growing understanding “You’re already dying.”

I nodded slowly, glad that he now knew my secret, “It is not sudden. I have known since I was young. I have come to terms with it. But the Doctor does not know. And he cannot know. I am forbidden to speak of it to anyone outright. If he were to guess, I would not deny it, but unless he does, he cannot know.”

The Captain shook his head, “I still don’t understand, what is it that he wants? What is it that would cost you your life?”

“Something I can’t allow her to do.”

I spun around quickly, finding the Doctor in the doorway, his eyes dark with anger. He walked, no, advanced, on the Captain and placed his hand on the Captain’s upper arm.

“We are leaving Jack,” he hissed, giving the Captain one pull before stalking back towards the door.

“No.”

I turned to the Captain in shock. What did he mean, no? He had to leave. His place was on Earth with the Doctor. Or with the Torchwood he spoke of.

“Jack Harkness, this is no time to play games. Get back on the TARDIS, we’re leaving.”

The coldness in the Doctor’s voice brooked no argument, but as I stared as the Captain I knew he would not back down.

“Captain,” I whispered, “Please. Go with him. My family will do what we can. You cannot help us.”

He turned to me, eyes burning, “You wanna bet?”

Before I could object, he faced the Doctor, “I am not leaving until you let her repay you.”

I looked to the Doctor, hoping he might change his mind. I was not worried about myself, but for my mother and sisters. I did not think I could suffer through my last days knowing I caused my family’s banishment outside the providence. The Doctor looked conflicted, a stream of anger, annoyance, guilt, and exhaustion flittering across his face.

“Jack, you know I can’t let her.”

“Yes, you can. She knows what she wants to do. You can’t deny her this.”

“YES I CAN!” the Doctor blasted, losing his composure for what I sensed was the first time in many years.

“What is it that you are so afraid of letting her give you?”

The Doctor was silent, and I knew he would not tell the Captain. I glanced between the two men, not knowing if my next move was very smart or very foolish.

“I do not know a name,” I said, turning to the Captain, “But it is a human, female, what you would consider almost… middle age? I believe that is the word. Her eyes are blue, her height tall.”

I gestured to my head, “Her hair is long, with these…”

I moved my hands around my head in spirals, hoping he understand what I was trying to say. My people did not have such wild hair, our hair lying flat on our heads.

“Curls,” he muttered, “She has curls.”

I nodded, “Yes, and it is colored-“

“ENOUGH.”

“Copper,” I continued, ignoring the Doctor’s protest, “She has hair of copper.”

The room was silent after my last words, save for the curtains rustling with the breeze. I studied the Captain carefully, hoping he would know whom I saw in the Doctor’s mind. Whoever she was, she must have been very important to the Doctor, for I saw her frequently in his thoughts.

“Donna,” the Captain breathed, his eyes going to the Doctor, “She sees Donna.”

“Donna,” I repeated, hearing the name echoed in the Doctor’s mind, “Yes… her name is Donna…. Donna Noble.”

The Captain had ignored me, focusing on the Doctor’s reactions.

“I can’t, Jack,” the Doctor pleaded, “She’ll die. They both might die. It’s too dangerous.”

The Captain turned to me, “If I tell him what I know, will it break any rules?”

I thought for a moment, reaching out to the Elder who prescribed my silence. He responded with a negative and I shook my head no.

The Captain turned back to the Doctor, “She’s already dying Doctor, and she wants to do the honorable thing.”

I could feel the shock from the Doctor. I was not surprised; most people had reacted in much the same way when they were made aware of my condition.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I could not,” I answered calmly.

The Doctor’s mind swirled. I could sense the conflicting parts of him waging war inside his head. It was fascinating to me to see his mind at work. Gallifreyans were so different from my people; it was like looking into a distorted mirror. You see yourself, and yet it is not like you remember it being.

“Alright.”

It was only one word, but it was enough.

I gestured towards the door, “Please wait outside. I must complete this alone. The door will open again when it is finished.”

I watched them leave, both casting frequent glances at me as they closed the door slowly. Taking a deep breath, I reached out to the Transporters and told them what I needed. They sent back an affirmative as well as comfort. While I was calm and ready, it was nice to feel their compassion and respect. I waited, and soon the Earth woman Donna began to materialize in front of me.

Reaching out quickly, I closed down her mind, effectively trapping her in place. Focusing on the task at hand, I searched gently for the barriers I knew the Doctor to have placed. They were not hard to find. It amused me how awkwardly they stuck out in comparison to the streamlined structure of this mind.

Knowing the power that was hidden behind them, I pried them off while quickly pressing against the new area I uncovered. The swirling power of the Time Lord stayed contained for the moment and I took the opportunity to release Donna’s memories. As they filtered through her mind like flashbacks, I braced myself for what had to come next.

Creating a sort of vacuum effect, I let go of the power and felt it flow into me. As it gathered momentum, I could feel it stretch my mind, searching for pathways that were not there and digging new ones to satisfy its need. I released my grip on Donna’s mind, staggering back as I lost motor function to the power.

By the time she had recovered and the Doctor and the Captain had entered, my body was as good as useless. I allowed the power to consume it while I conserved my mental faculties to listen as long as possible. The romantic within me wanted to witness this reunion, no matter how short my observation would be. Oh, and what a reunion it was.

The hope… the joy… the love was everything I had hoped to find in my own life. Had I been able to, I would have smiled greatly at their reactions. Yes, this love was worth dying for. I sensed them slowly make their way back to the TARDIS. I relaxed as the power swept through me, ravaging my mind. I held a clamp down on my pain centers for as long as possible before they slipped and dissolved.

I wish I could say that the pain was bearable, but it was not. White-hot and unlike anything I had experienced before, it reduced me to nothing but sensation and the primal need to remove myself from discomfort. I waited, and waited, and still my mind would not fade. Was this some sort of teasing, this prolonged torture? It was perhaps hours, perhaps minutes, before the pain ebbed.

I relaxed, and released myself to the darkness around me. The only problem was, I was dumped back into my body.

“Don’t worry, you’re not dead. Not yet anyway.”

To say I was surprised at the Doctor’s voice was an understatement.

“Then what exactly am I if not dead?”

He chuckled, “Somewhere between perfectly healthy and super powered.”

“I do not understand, how…”

“It’s a long, complicated explanation that you probably don’t want to hear, so let’s just call it a triumph of nature.”

Now I was really confused.

“A triumph of nature? Can you elaborate?”

“Well, between Donna’s mind and yours, the metacrisis was split in two. Donna got the information, the part her mind could actually handle, and you got the driving power of it. It doesn’t make any sense, and I never would have imagined this would have happened. But the only explanation I could think of is since your mind is more complex than Donna’s you were able to adapt and recover from the metacrisis. It actually healed you. So no more dying, no more sickness, no more weakness because you my friend are all charged up with good ole’ Time Lord energy.”

Was it true? Was I really healed? I hoped, beyond anything I had ever hoped for, that the Doctor’s words were true. Swallowing my fear, I pushed my eyes open. The sight of the ceiling had never looked so good. Pushing myself up, I expected to see the Doctor, the Captain, and Donna in the room. They were gone.

“Where are you?”

“Oh, we’re back at the TARDIS. Have to head to Earth. Jack’s got to get back to Torchwood and Donna needs to pack.”

No goodbye? No farewell? I had not even seen how Donna was doing.

“You will leave? So suddenly?”

Perhaps it was selfish of me, but I wanted to meet this Donna I almost died for. She had a bright and shining mind, much like the Doctor’s, and I wanted to see it in action. Standing, I focused in on the Doctor, using his mind to locate the TARDIS. If I could just keep him occupied long enough…

“Don’t you think we’ve stirred up enough trouble? I don’t think your family would be ecstatic if they knew what you had to do.”

They were right outside the house, parked in the grove of Raevline trees. Taking off in a dead sprint, I hoped to catch the Doctor before he left. Something told me he would not visit again in my lifetime.

“But will you not stay for supper? Not even to say farewell?”

As I rounded the corner on the first floor there was a sensation, one I could only describe as shuffling, from the Doctor’s mind. I stopped and listened.

“Doctor?”

“It’s Donna here now. The Doctor is helping me connect with you.”

Oh! This was so… strange. I could hear words, but there was so much more I was receiving. Sights, and sounds, and smells all swirled in my mind. It was primitive by my people’s standards, but so much more than what any of us could convey to each other.

“Lady Donna… I am sorry, it is all so much to take in…”

“Oh! Am I hurting you?”

I laughed, “Not in the least. Your mind is much different from what I am used to. There is much more to process.”

“Oh. Right. Well I… I wanted to thank you. I don’t think I can ever…”

“Lady Donna, it was my greatest honor. No thanks are needed. I only wish the Doctor would allow me to say goodbye to you.”

“Well, we were hoping…”

Flashes of moments and sensations flickered across my mind. I could only assume this was what Donna expected them to do next.

Oh.

OH!

I blushed profusely; obviously Donna did not know that I could see this. How did the Captain put it? Ah yes. Brain bleach needed.

“Lady Donna,” I began hastily, “You and the Doctor can return another time. Perhaps we can spend more time together then.”

“Yes, I’d like that. I’ll make sure we stop in.”

I knew I should just leave it at that and let Donna and the Doctor leave. But the influence of the Captain was too great.

“And Donna?”

“Yes?”

Goddess help me, “You might want to make sure the Captain is not anywhere around when you and the Doctor start… um… relaxing. I have heard he has horrible timing and very good hearing. Tell the Doctor goodbye for me!”

Pulling back from the connection as quickly as I could, I laughed as I imagined Donna's reaction to my words. Walking to the window, I watched as the TARDIS dematerialized, leaving only empty space in its wake. Looking up to the sky, I wondered where they had gone and what trouble they were heading towards.

“Faerfarrne, Lord Doctor,” I whispered to the sky, “Faerfarrne and ezel.”


Date: 2010-05-24 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jennytork.livejournal.com
absolutely beautiful

Date: 2010-05-24 03:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eljay-earthgirl.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Date: 2010-05-24 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doctorsgirl26.livejournal.com
this is awesome! i love everything about it this is going in my memories.

Date: 2010-05-24 04:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eljay-earthgirl.livejournal.com
Oh wow, thank you! I'm so very glad you liked it so much.

Date: 2010-05-24 05:49 am (UTC)
sykira: (destiny)
From: [personal profile] sykira
You know how much I love this but I can't go to bed without commenting :) I think it is magnificent how you describe everything through alien eyes, and leave just enough mystery to how she feels and thinks. Awesomely original fixit too :D

Date: 2010-05-24 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eljay-earthgirl.livejournal.com
D'awwww. You're sweet.

Date: 2010-05-24 09:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sczep84.livejournal.com
Aww, I love it! Great fix-it. And I love that u've written it through the alien's eyes! Beautiful!

Date: 2010-05-24 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eljay-earthgirl.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it so much.

Date: 2010-05-24 10:34 am (UTC)
bas_math_girl: Doctor Come With Me (Default)
From: [personal profile] bas_math_girl
What an ingenious, romantic fix-it!! It had everything in it that I could possibly want; from the alien’s involvement, through the Doctor’s desires, Donna coming back (YAY!), and back to naughty Jack. All of it absolutely lovely!

Date: 2010-05-24 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eljay-earthgirl.livejournal.com
Thank you for reading! It was really fun to write, and apparently just as much fun to read.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2010-05-24 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eljay-earthgirl.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! It was fun to create the whole setting and manage to get a fix-it out of it as well. I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

Date: 2010-05-27 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kgriess.livejournal.com
This was so unique and I loved the first-person voice. I'm so glad that everyone was saved - I was worried about the story-teller for awhile.

Fantastic idea!

Date: 2010-05-27 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eljay-earthgirl.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

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